The Sudanese Shepherd Who Thinks That Geordies Are Sheep

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This isn’t a mistake that any native Briton would make. The Norwegian influence over Geordies is still strong and we tend not to think that they’re sheep. Nor even goats. True, the womenfolk seem to be OK wearing little outside in winter but that’s not enough to mark out as an ungulate.

Those not steeped in our folklore might not grasp this:

A Sudanese shepherd granted asylum in the UK has claimed that “immorality” in Newcastle encouraged him to sexually assault a man in the city centre. Zain Osman, 25, who arrived in the country on a lorry, thrust his hands down the victim’s trousers and tried to force him to perform oral sex on him in the street.

Doing as is done at home is a mistake many travellers make. When in Rome as in Rome is the mnemonic to prevent it. The thing is though, it’s such an odd mistake to make.

A shepherd is going to be used to the company and actions of sheep, perhaps goats. That’s what the word means, shepherd. And succeeding in getting a ruminant to provide that sort of happy ending is something that will only be done once in a male lifetime, isn’t it?

Sadly, the other telling of this story is much more boring “both got drunk in a gay bar before engaging in “consensual activity” in the street”.

 

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